All in a year

My baby is now a toddler. She lurks around our small townhome looking for new ways to be mischievous. From emptying out drawers and cupboards to climbing on furniture and the stairs, she is a bundle of energy and curiosity. It is imperative to remember to keep the bathroom door closed! Time does go so very quickly. In a way.
I think back to the endless crying and inconsolable days and it feels like it took forever. Reflecting on this past year, so much has happened and changed. What a roller coaster of emotions! The early months were so difficult for me and I felt incredibly lonely. I am so thankful for my faithful, loving and patient hubby who I was fortunate to have home with me. I think if he had been working full time I would have gone crazy. Well, maybe I did go crazy a little but how can you not with all those hormones, no sleep and all that screaming? =)
What a joy now to be able to take my little girl out as she is in awe and wonder of every stick and flower she sees. It really doesn't take much to get her excited! She is so passionate, and has a fiery disposition but at the same time can be so sweet and gentle. I cannot believe how much I love her!

First Flight

Ok, so as much as I wanted to come home to Canada for a visit to show off my baby and see my fam, the thought of getting here was so scary. Mark and I went back and forth a million times, do we fly? ew. Do we drive? Double ew. So many things to consider. If we drive, packing and luggage, including what and how much is so much easier! Plus cheaper? maybe. And then we already have a car. But 16 hours?? With a 10 month old???? Pshhhhhh. No thank you. Flying, at least if she screamed the whole time, would only be a 2 hour flight. But there is still the logistics of airports and getting to and from them and car rentals.... our trip yesterday was a 12 hour trip total, even with an only 2 hour flight!!!! The car rental was a headache (literally at the end we had to go to Shoppers to buy some Advil cuz I forgot to pack it). Installing the rented car seat was even worse. Driving to San Fran (2 hours in traffic) then driving from Van-Mission (hour or so) sigh. Our little girl, I am so proud. She held on with only one meltdown and on the way home, way past her bedtime, only just moaning in her car seat, begging for sleep. 

But, we are HERE! And so happy to be. And after all the rush and security checkpoints and hour wait in customs, we had a wonderful sushi dinner with my brother and some Starbucks to top it off! We are blessed.

Bring on the adventures!

A link

Also, I really like this article.
http://theleakyboob.com/2010/12/a-time-to-heal-a-look-at-postpartum-recovery/

Homecoming

I'm not very good at packing. I love to go on trips, I love to plan them and get all excited, but then when it comes to getting ready I get all procrastinaty and find a billion other random unnecessary things to do. And now, with a little wild crawler to chase around, I have even less time to do important things!!! 

Ideally, I would get these things done while she naps. But then when would I sit on my couch with my tea and computer to catch up on Words With Friends?! As I have been doing for the last 2 hours. =) 

I am COMING HOME!!!!!!

For 13 days.

Facelift

So I decided  instead of cleaning my house, to give my blog a tiny facelift.
I get tired of the same old same old. I need change.
Ever since Christmas time, when Mark got pneumonia and almost left me a single mother, I have been so busy with (1) pumping every two hours to keep up with baby's growth spurt and increase my dwindling supply (2) now I can pump every three hours which is awesome (3) making baby food that Sariah won't eat (4) working and taking weird classes for work
Now that things are sort of settling down, I need to get my house together and get back on track!
Anyone wanna come over and clean for me??? I am offering free meals and coffee. I will even throw in a hundred dollars or two.

Why is it so hard to clean my house?
I would like to hire a maid.
Or maybe a motivational speaker. With a megaphone. Can't get much lazing around done when someone is yelling in my ear to "GET UP! OFF YOUR BUTT!!! CLEAN, WOMAN CLEAAANNNNNN GO GO GO GO GO!"
Only then I would probably be in jail for 25-30 years. Because they would find the shovel in my back yard.
*shudder*
Maybe I will just put on some techno.

J'ai fatigue

Ok, so since having a baby, I have discovered new levels of tired. But the problem is, I have found that there are no real proper ways to be specific with how I am feeling. I mean, there really should be more words available cuz really, "I'm tired" can mean anything from a bored, Saturday afternoon feeling, to days of sleepless crying baby nights. So, I was thinking I should create my own scale- just for my close friends here- so they know exactly how I am feeling.
Level 1: bored, sitting in the hot sun with book in hand. Relaxed, but could so take a nap.
          Treatment: Nap and tea
Level 2: Up at 5am for work.
          Treatment: tea or coffee
Level 3: Working 3 days straight.
          Treatment: Full day of rest watching reruns on TV
Level 3: Up at 5am for work after having stayed up WAY too late last night.
          Treatment: Coffee
Level 4: Up at 5am for work and pregnant. This is where the brain fuzz begins.
           Treatment: nothing
Level 5: Just worked 3 12 hour shifts with barely any breaks, holding my pee, and running around like crazy.
           Treatment: Coffee and frequent napping
Level 6: Just worked 3 12 hour shifts with barely any breaks, holding my pee, and running around like crazy , and pregnant.
           Treatment: NAP
Level 7: Having a baby. Brain fuzz. Not able to make decisions.
           Treatment: There is none.
Level 8: 4 months of colicky baby, not sleeping, and getting up at 5am for work. Shouldn't be driving.
            Treatment: Have someone drive you to work. And drink coffee.
Level 9: This is the point where I have not slept more than 4 hours straight for over a year and a half.... the baby had a horrible night and keeps whining, I have been feeding her every 2 hours for almost 3 weeks straight, and the brain fuzz has reached an optimal high. Decisions are impossible and make me cry. People at the store all suck. Bikers in Davis are all the enemy. And I can't reach anything from where I am sprawled out on the couch. So I cry. But I have to get up anyways, cuz the baby is crying on the floor as she herself cannot reach something.
            Treatment: Bang head against a wall to knock self out, then crawl into a hole. Cry. Then eat chocolate.

Yesterday I reached a level 9. And really I shouldn't have felt as bad as I did as the baby only woke up once and I took two naps. But I was not a functioning human being. I felt like the phrase "I'm tired" was so wimpy. Therefore I created my levels. That way, now Mark knows once I hit a level 6 or 7, intervention is needed to prevent the risk of it hitting a 9. And foot rubs, long hot baths and copious amounts of chocolate and tea will be offered to me. I am so genius.